MARITAL MEDIATION IS in the news with the renewed discussion of extending the family court system and last year's passage and the recent implementation of HB 706 relating to marital mediation referrals from superior court.

Still, marital mediation is not well understood by many of those who are looking for an alternative to the litigated adversarial divorce process and who could benefit from a mediated divorce.

Marital mediation works best if begun early, when it is clear that marriage counseling is not working and separation and divorce are imminent. It is a process by which a trained, neutral third party-a mediator-helps the couple plan the transitions and make the decisions related to separation and divorce. It requires a little work from the divorcing couple in exchange for a relatively low-cost process that gives the couple the best chance for a sane, rational restructuring of the family-so necessary when there are children to be considered. The result of mediation is a set of agreements or stipulations that the parties can take for review by their lawyers or bring directly to court.

But where does one find a mediator to work these miracles? How does one judge a mediator's qualifications and experience? It is an accidental but well-kept secret that the state of New Hampshire certifies marital mediators. I am such a mediator, and I offer my services in the Lakes Region, but there are 42 other certified marital mediators located throughout the state. You can locate them and learn about the certification process by going to the New Hampshire Board of Marital Mediators Web site at http://www.nh.gov/marital/index.htm.

In addition to private mediators, there are also 13 community mediation programs scattered over the map, some of which offer marital mediation. The names of community mediation programs can be found at the New Hampshire Conflict resolution Association Web site at www.nhcra.org.

Finally, if you are already divorced and are having problems with custody, visitation or some other divorce related matter, or have filed your petition and are in the process of obtaining a divorce, you can request from the court a referral to a marital mediator. Information relating to mediation is on the Superior Court's Web site also.

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