Bar News - October 4, 2002
Morning Mail - 'Family' Definition Dialogue Continues
The following is an open letter to attorney James M. Winston in response to his letter in the Aug. 16, 2002 issue of Bar News.
I read with a great deal of interest attorney Susan Hassan’s article [July 5, 2002 Bar News] and your subsequent letter about "family." I certainly can understand how you feel because that is how I used to feel, thinking that I knew about what it took to make a family – a husband, a wife, children and so forth. But having a wonderful son who is gay and has a partner, and observing their adoption of two little boys, my understanding of what constitutes a "family" has broadened quite a bit.
I would hope that you and others like you can accept the fact that being gay or lesbian is not a choice, but a condition from birth; that gay and lesbian couples can be just as committed to each other as heterosexual couples; that they want very much to be a family and to have a family as did their parents; and that, at least in my experience, they make very loving and successful parents of youngsters who otherwise might not have had parents that care. In most instances, gay and lesbian parents legally adopt their children and, as you know, that establishes those children as theirs, just as if they had been born to them.
Certainly, any adult with a child, whether adopted or natural-born, constitutes a family under any definition. Whether that parent or that child is heterosexual or homosexual really is quite irrelevant.
Unfortunately, concerned people such as attorney Hassan may have to resort to advocacy and politics in order to promote equal standing for all parents, be they one way or the other. I hope that folks of your persuasion can appreciate what good people like my son are faced with and perhaps focus your parental and family concerns on helping all families rather than demeaning some by separate classification.
With best personal regards,
T. William Bigelow
Cotuit, MA
To read the letters referenced here, visit "Recent Letters to Bar News" in the Publications section.
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